01-30-2013, 07:28 AM
First of all, I want to say thanks for the feedback. I will make some adjustments so that it becomes a more 'digestible' read.
It is indeed based on a lot of Nietzsche's ideas (esp. from his book Thus Spoke Zarathustra). I wrote this poem (if it can be referred to as one), not to provide a definite answer to what is the nature of life, love etc. but rather to elucidate an uncertainty and a confusion that exists in our understanding of such things. At least that was the intention. As to the language, towards the end, when the poem draws towards its conclusion, I tried to evoke some of that 'paradoxical' circularity that some claim to be part of Nietzsche's work. I did this, not because i believe his ideas are incoherent or his arguments unsound but instead because i think it is intrinsically linked to what I'm trying to allude to in my discussion life and love.
I'm not trying to make this a philosophical poem (although I find it a fascinating subject). From experience, I have found that the more we try to understand and pin-down explanations to life and our love affairs, the more exposed we become to things that completely turn our (preconceived) ideas up-side-down (or inside out, as you said). Our notions to Life and Love often turn out to be completely different to what we first expected them to be; similarly, the crux of the poem (or its 'lesson') is not to expect anything except that life and love are finite in existence: although true experiences, we should accept that they come and go just as easily as they appear and disappear before/to us.
All in all, I agree it is messy but i hope this does not prevent it from being enjoyable
Thanks again for all the constructive criticism! I'll give those adjustments a go and I'll get back to you as soon as it's ready
cheers
It is indeed based on a lot of Nietzsche's ideas (esp. from his book Thus Spoke Zarathustra). I wrote this poem (if it can be referred to as one), not to provide a definite answer to what is the nature of life, love etc. but rather to elucidate an uncertainty and a confusion that exists in our understanding of such things. At least that was the intention. As to the language, towards the end, when the poem draws towards its conclusion, I tried to evoke some of that 'paradoxical' circularity that some claim to be part of Nietzsche's work. I did this, not because i believe his ideas are incoherent or his arguments unsound but instead because i think it is intrinsically linked to what I'm trying to allude to in my discussion life and love.
I'm not trying to make this a philosophical poem (although I find it a fascinating subject). From experience, I have found that the more we try to understand and pin-down explanations to life and our love affairs, the more exposed we become to things that completely turn our (preconceived) ideas up-side-down (or inside out, as you said). Our notions to Life and Love often turn out to be completely different to what we first expected them to be; similarly, the crux of the poem (or its 'lesson') is not to expect anything except that life and love are finite in existence: although true experiences, we should accept that they come and go just as easily as they appear and disappear before/to us.
All in all, I agree it is messy but i hope this does not prevent it from being enjoyable
Thanks again for all the constructive criticism! I'll give those adjustments a go and I'll get back to you as soon as it's ready
cheers