01-27-2013, 06:03 PM
This is gooooood. I like your style.
My favorite part :
I’m her man she’s my girl
She’s my life I’m her world
My everything
My past, my forever more
My Yoko Ono
My Lenore
Once you got to the last 2 lines my heart melted. You had me at Yoko Ono, My Lenore sealed the deal.
She’s my addiction
No cure for her love
There’s no prescription
Another line there would be awesome, I think. The first 2 stanzas got me really into it. The way you placed yours words, I feel like I got the flow right away while I was reading it the first time, really quick - I wanted to know the whole poem from the first stanza.
I'm a sucker for this poem. Great job
My favorite part :
I’m her man she’s my girl
She’s my life I’m her world
My everything
My past, my forever more
My Yoko Ono
My Lenore
Once you got to the last 2 lines my heart melted. You had me at Yoko Ono, My Lenore sealed the deal.
She’s my addiction
No cure for her love
There’s no prescription
Another line there would be awesome, I think. The first 2 stanzas got me really into it. The way you placed yours words, I feel like I got the flow right away while I was reading it the first time, really quick - I wanted to know the whole poem from the first stanza.
I'm a sucker for this poem. Great job
"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning" - Werner Karl Heisenber