01-22-2013, 01:50 PM
now that you said that im rereading it and it actually looks like two poems to me that i tried to make as one
The time is close, the day draws near
Distorted figures the sun makes clear
The walls enclose, the ceiling hides
A veiled smile is the best disguise
In fact we see yet speak of fiction
A lie is a habit which turns addiction
Subtle gestures in vivid detail
Shadow world does life entail
Darkness masks what light unfolds
Uniformed souls in uniform molds
A child is born but has yet to make
A soul with the mold yet to make
We have plans! So speak it true
None which include to make anew
We give the thoughts, the codes as well
Place our minds inside the shell
A cycle repeats, no end in sight
The day held hope, that ends with night
not a total revision but i think it at least flows better now
The time is close, the day draws near
Distorted figures the sun makes clear
The walls enclose, the ceiling hides
A veiled smile is the best disguise
In fact we see yet speak of fiction
A lie is a habit which turns addiction
Subtle gestures in vivid detail
Shadow world does life entail
Darkness masks what light unfolds
Uniformed souls in uniform molds
A child is born but has yet to make
A soul with the mold yet to make
We have plans! So speak it true
None which include to make anew
We give the thoughts, the codes as well
Place our minds inside the shell
A cycle repeats, no end in sight
The day held hope, that ends with night
not a total revision but i think it at least flows better now
"Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor."-Sholom Aleichem