[Revision] The War Within

[doolasmind#11]

I think i'm shooting for prose here but I'm still not too sure. regardless I want to hear thoughts on the revision its in italics

Strength of a man measured in deeds
Pursuit of paradise based on the creeds
Lords might judge but serfs are the jury
Kings react slow but peasants must hurry

Happiness is lost, Faith goes too
You know not fate, Yet fate knows you
Condemned to life, We serve out the sentence
Most feel guilt, And give due penance

Keep your head down, Lest you scrape the ceiling
Ambition is kept near, What a guarded feeling
Doubt does lurk, Ready to pounce
Hope does float, Ready to bounce

Bold men aspire, They dare great feats
Weak men sit, And reserve the seats
A flower blossoms in the coldest of places
And humility masks the boldest of faces

Life is dear to none and all
The meek can rise, The great can fall[/b]



Strength of a man measured in deeds
Pursuit of paradise based on creeds
Lords might judge but serfs hold jury
Kings react slowly, peasants must hurry

Happiness lost, faith goes too
You know not fate, yet fate knows you
Condemned to life, serve out the sentence
Most feel guilt, and give due penance

Keep your head down or scrape the ceiling
Ambition kept near, what a guarded feeling
Doubt does lurk, ready to pounce
Hope does float, ready to bounce

Bold men aspire to great feats
Weak men sit to reserve the seats
A flower blossoms in the coldest of places
And humility masks the boldest of faces

Life is dear to none and all
The meek can rise, The great can fall