01-22-2013, 04:52 AM
I always worry every time I come on the Internet that I've done something wrong without knowing it. Because I've been thrown out of so many places in so many towns, because people are always talking some jive ass shit really loud, and I'm normally already drinking a lot before I go around public places, because, well, why not? It's better than being on pills that in the past had me sleeping 18 hours a day.
But anyway, people talk so much nonsense; and when I start talking my own nonsense, they get upset. Usually I try to stay to myself, sit and drink, and think about things. Then people start asking questions, "Why you drinking alone?", "Why you look so sad." And so on. And I try not to say anything too strange; but they ask questions and sometimes, I have a notebook with me, and they ask about that; so then I have to say that I'm writing something. And usually men don't care; but women often ask more questions about it, and it's always the same thing: "Well, I'll be sure to look up your stuff online. Nice meeting you." And I stop them before they walk away, and ask them if they know my name, and they say "No." And I say "Ok." And they say, "Well, see ya later."
With me, writing is linked to spiritual experiences. I try to maintain my self, my spirit: as a whole person, despite all the chaos and unconscious things going on. But I do something I call hellblazing, too. And if I don't concentrate very hard and constantly work on something, if I'm not with someone, I'll drift off into some autistic-like netherworld.
But anyway, people talk so much nonsense; and when I start talking my own nonsense, they get upset. Usually I try to stay to myself, sit and drink, and think about things. Then people start asking questions, "Why you drinking alone?", "Why you look so sad." And so on. And I try not to say anything too strange; but they ask questions and sometimes, I have a notebook with me, and they ask about that; so then I have to say that I'm writing something. And usually men don't care; but women often ask more questions about it, and it's always the same thing: "Well, I'll be sure to look up your stuff online. Nice meeting you." And I stop them before they walk away, and ask them if they know my name, and they say "No." And I say "Ok." And they say, "Well, see ya later."
With me, writing is linked to spiritual experiences. I try to maintain my self, my spirit: as a whole person, despite all the chaos and unconscious things going on. But I do something I call hellblazing, too. And if I don't concentrate very hard and constantly work on something, if I'm not with someone, I'll drift off into some autistic-like netherworld.