From Atop the Railing

[billy]

i liked the read and would have to look up the form to give anything constructive about it. as it stands the repetitions work well and most of my suggestions are just that
thanks for the read.

Initially I wanted to write it strictly as a Rondel Prime, but I didn't follow a strict syllable count, so I'm not sure if it can still be considered a Rondel Prime.

From Atop the Railing

Let’s go back to those days in December; would 'December' days work just as well?
Hands held, small banters, blissful smiles.
Wasn’t paradise, but living was worthwhile. 'it' to start the line
Halcyon days, thought to last forever.

Yet deafening noises shatter the dream.
Cruel, unacceptable. why?
Let’s go back to those days in December;
Hands held, small banters, blissful smiles.

Loved ones wave, from across the river. no need for the comma
I used to tremble, I used to step down.
But now, I’m strong enough, to write you this lily of the Nile: no need for one or both comma
Scythe primed, I made a deal with the Reaper.
Let’s go back to those days in December;
Hands held, small banters, blissful smiles.