01-21-2013, 11:11 AM
More stanzas. You do need to split it up into more stanzas. I was having some difficulty with keeping track of where I was.
I do have ADD, and tonight I was even more nervous than usual, so for me it is a bit exaggerated. But I still think that you should break it up a bit more, maybe use some commas, semicolons, or periods to indicate thought breaks.
Other than that though, I think the actual content is great. Just the packaging that needs a bit of work.
I do have ADD, and tonight I was even more nervous than usual, so for me it is a bit exaggerated. But I still think that you should break it up a bit more, maybe use some commas, semicolons, or periods to indicate thought breaks.
Other than that though, I think the actual content is great. Just the packaging that needs a bit of work.
Won't be seeing you through the field of tears I left behind