01-21-2013, 08:06 AM
I enjoyed this, A fantastic effort for a non native english speaker!
Rowens pointed out the main grammatical points, I guess my only comment would be that the structure seems to contrast with the content quite a bit (it sounds light and playful when spoken) maybe making it slightly slower paced would portray her "lost in thoughts" and absentmindedness a little better.
But a part from that as I said, I enjoyed it
thanks,
Ben
Rowens pointed out the main grammatical points, I guess my only comment would be that the structure seems to contrast with the content quite a bit (it sounds light and playful when spoken) maybe making it slightly slower paced would portray her "lost in thoughts" and absentmindedness a little better.
But a part from that as I said, I enjoyed it
thanks,
Ben
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz