01-20-2013, 01:54 PM
Well, it is "descent." But yes, a thick mountain rarely falls down, and it can make some sense if you realize it is a metaphor for something else. And "Lacks" is a real word, I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with that.
For me, the problem is that the wording is a bit awkward and your commas interrupt the flow of the words that do work. That's what I'd revise.
For me, the problem is that the wording is a bit awkward and your commas interrupt the flow of the words that do work. That's what I'd revise.
Won't be seeing you through the field of tears I left behind