01-20-2013, 02:07 AM
a waste wasted on whys.
or a waste wasted on why-nots.
the last line, in my opinion is the best line in this posie - you could add a comma
a waste, wasted on whys.
oh and you could tighten up this bit
in order to make the exit
more glittery and shiny and
fine -with- me,
in order to make the exit
glitter and shine. More fine-with-me,
and this bit
to linger some senseless time more,
some options:
to linger for more senseless time
to linger, making more senseless time
I know you dont expect me to crit anything - I comment because I want to.
StalKeR
ps - can you put your trash out? I don't know what you have been eating for lunch.
or a waste wasted on why-nots.
the last line, in my opinion is the best line in this posie - you could add a comma
a waste, wasted on whys.
oh and you could tighten up this bit
in order to make the exit
more glittery and shiny and
fine -with- me,
in order to make the exit
glitter and shine. More fine-with-me,
and this bit
to linger some senseless time more,
some options:
to linger for more senseless time
to linger, making more senseless time
I know you dont expect me to crit anything - I comment because I want to.
StalKeR
ps - can you put your trash out? I don't know what you have been eating for lunch.