01-19-2013, 08:45 PM
Tectak - thank you very much! I am quite new to poetry, this criticism is very useful.
Haha, you made me giggle - I understand what you are saying about how a poems message can eat itself in extended metaphors
I didn't realize my idea was that hidden -
Outside of the work that needs to be done on the writing / errors - Does this change the picture at all for you? ...
There are nurseries for children and there are nurseries for farming animals. What is being farmed here in this poem, a pig in a pen for our stomachs and our plates or a child's mind? Read it again, but imagine an animal waiting for slaughter -
The original name of this poem was Pig's Cry, but I wanted to connect our own minds in society being farmed also.
I wanted to dissolve the idea that a farmed animal is just meat and that it is not a conscious being.
I've heard that a pig (for example) has the intelligence of a 3 year old child - so I imagine what it would feel like to see our 3 year old child in this situation - and it gives me compassion for these animals. I imagine a pig in a slaughterhouse when I read this poem - and that I was raised not to think anything of these animals.
"As a little girl at Christmas time chews innocently on my leg." I remember being a child and eating duck in the park while I watched the most beautiful ducks jump around for bread. My mom didn't tell me I was eating duck until after I was finished - I didn't realize as a child that I was eating an animal that suffered to get on my plate. That is partially where this poem spouted from -
Haha, you made me giggle - I understand what you are saying about how a poems message can eat itself in extended metaphors
I didn't realize my idea was that hidden -
Outside of the work that needs to be done on the writing / errors - Does this change the picture at all for you? ...
There are nurseries for children and there are nurseries for farming animals. What is being farmed here in this poem, a pig in a pen for our stomachs and our plates or a child's mind? Read it again, but imagine an animal waiting for slaughter -
The original name of this poem was Pig's Cry, but I wanted to connect our own minds in society being farmed also.
I wanted to dissolve the idea that a farmed animal is just meat and that it is not a conscious being.
I've heard that a pig (for example) has the intelligence of a 3 year old child - so I imagine what it would feel like to see our 3 year old child in this situation - and it gives me compassion for these animals. I imagine a pig in a slaughterhouse when I read this poem - and that I was raised not to think anything of these animals.
"As a little girl at Christmas time chews innocently on my leg." I remember being a child and eating duck in the park while I watched the most beautiful ducks jump around for bread. My mom didn't tell me I was eating duck until after I was finished - I didn't realize as a child that I was eating an animal that suffered to get on my plate. That is partially where this poem spouted from -