01-19-2013, 01:42 AM
A drop in its delicate descend
Is it 'descent'? Look it up. I think I'm right about that.
towards the rigid ground
a mountain top, which never bends
thick and rarely downed
The mountain is rarely downed?
A rose, so grand and pliant
deflective in the wind
yet the roots defiant
the flower's core rescind
Prowess to speak, declare
around her breaks and cracks
set ablaze, a potent flare
daring, by much lacks
"Lacks"?
Knees shake and shoulders shiver
all thoughts depart
like a leaf into a river
by the fast-paced beat of my heart
In her presence, a mind obtuse
and courage chooses to abscond
reason proclaims that it's no use
but heart, near stars and far beyond
It is obtuse.
Sentiment I now assert
with line and word
as my mouth may distort
but my writing remains unblurred
The sentiment is obvious, while the writing will make it seem blurred to most girls that often find themselves the recipient of poems like this from intelligent and passionate, but verbose, men that would be better off making dick jokes, half the time. I know all about it.
A question, now, about to follow
for a girl divine
your hand, may I borrow
on this year's Valentine?
This last part seems the most effective. If this is actually written for a girl.
Is it 'descent'? Look it up. I think I'm right about that.
towards the rigid ground
a mountain top, which never bends
thick and rarely downed
The mountain is rarely downed?
A rose, so grand and pliant
deflective in the wind
yet the roots defiant
the flower's core rescind
Prowess to speak, declare
around her breaks and cracks
set ablaze, a potent flare
daring, by much lacks
"Lacks"?
Knees shake and shoulders shiver
all thoughts depart
like a leaf into a river
by the fast-paced beat of my heart
In her presence, a mind obtuse
and courage chooses to abscond
reason proclaims that it's no use
but heart, near stars and far beyond
It is obtuse.
Sentiment I now assert
with line and word
as my mouth may distort
but my writing remains unblurred
The sentiment is obvious, while the writing will make it seem blurred to most girls that often find themselves the recipient of poems like this from intelligent and passionate, but verbose, men that would be better off making dick jokes, half the time. I know all about it.
A question, now, about to follow
for a girl divine
your hand, may I borrow
on this year's Valentine?
This last part seems the most effective. If this is actually written for a girl.