No One Can Serve Two Masters

[brandontoh]

To add on to what Todd said, I think you can try to enhance the poem by visualising. What I mean is to imagine the scene playing out in your head, or a particular event that inspired you to write said poem. For example, with regards to money, I'd do something like "My mother, furrowed brows, slave to cold hard cash" because when I think about parents emphasising on the importance of money, I see a mother being stressed out and constantly worried about it. Focus on the things that left an impact on you, especially if you're writing based on personal experience.

As for the last 2 lines, instead of telling readers, try to think of how it FEELS like, and write it that way.

Hope I am of help. =)