White Then Black

[tectak]

I just wrote this today. Hope it's actually decent. Once again, thanks for reading my poem.

White Then Black
On checkered field,2
Two armies stand.
Of fierce warriors,
Of gentlemen.

No bloodshed,
But destruction wrought.
As order breaks,
And equality falls.

Stand firm, behind your kingdom.
Dapper man, on dapper man,
The clock’s ticking, so
Brandish your blades!

Swiftly, with habitual gestures,
Both armies advance.
Field cold, as dapper men
Poke for chinks.

One, sent out a spy;
Lowly soldier, with worldly load.
Hopes for the other
To not notice.

One, sent out a scout;
Knight on horse, sturdy and fast.
Maybe there’s
A point of entry.

Espionage success!

Wave of hand,
Pushing soldier forward,
Confidence overflowing.
A castle WILL fall.

Ground shoots, from
Frosty to
White hot.
A siege at hand.

Trembling hand, clenches
Into fist, desperate.
No resource,
No counter in sight.

Invasion incoming,
Gaping hole in armour;
The king falls, devastated.
No point struggling.

Dapper man, on dapper man;
One head high, the other down.
Acute battle, of minds with brawns,
Settled in thirty minutes.

On checkered field,
Two armies stand.
Of fierce warriors,
Of gentlemen.

Once again.

No line by line on this one. It is a chesstnut, over-roasted I'm afraid. To succeed poetically with this sort of subject you need to raise the game far more than this. It is poorly structured, has no game-plan, and no poetic reason to exist. The metaphor is purile and unconvincing in its intent.....this is a game of chess, why make it anything other than that? And if that is all it is, why make anything of it at all?
There are also many weak areas of semantic note...too many to mention whilst remaining polite, though " Minds with brawns" is a worth a mention.
No. Another day, another subject. This one is not for me......I may even give up chess on the strength of this.
Best,
tectak