The Recitation

[monablackbird]

I have to echo some of the other comments and also say "trim the fat". In this case I think a lot of the fat comes from overuse of adjectives and flowery language. Sometimes cliches are relevant because they resonate with a lot of people. But usually when people feel like something is cliche, it's because the language used doesn't do the emotion being conveyed justice. That's something I try to remember. There is a ton of good meat here and great potential for this poem. Keep up the good work and remember to enjoy the process.