01-15-2013, 10:44 PM
EDIT 1.17.13
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Born of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Pink stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded from mind
Rattle chains around here
We pretend that they’re dead
Those specters of fear
Just a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
EDIT 1.16.13 #2
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Pink stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded in memory
Rattle chains around here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
Just a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
EDIT 1.16.13
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Itchy stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded, thought forgotten
Rattle chains ‘round here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
Only a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
---
ORIGINAL 1.15.13
Haunted by jellyfish
Clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts thought forgotten
Rattle chains ‘round here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
But only size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
- - -
Been working on this one a few days now and have now hit a block with it. I keep trying to punch it up with some of the one-liners and imagery I'm so fond of but it keeps telling me it needs to be more simple - more direct. It's odd for me to do rhyme and I'm not sure why I chose it here. I'm already thinking of how to rewrite this without it. Also, I feel like this last stanza needs some work and I'm not sure what to do with it. I want to get the same sentiment across but am definitely open to editing those lines. Oh, and I'd also rather just call this "Haunted by Jellyfish" but how does that work when it's also the first line? Thanks all in advance. I do so love this place.
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Born of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Pink stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded from mind
Rattle chains around here
We pretend that they’re dead
Those specters of fear
Just a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
EDIT 1.16.13 #2
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Pink stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded in memory
Rattle chains around here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
Just a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
EDIT 1.16.13
Haunted by jellyfish
Slick clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Itchy stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts faded, thought forgotten
Rattle chains ‘round here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
Only a pair of size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
---
ORIGINAL 1.15.13
Haunted by jellyfish
Clogs in the drain
Made of spilling saltwater
And hard raging pain
Stings went unnamed
Mistaken for sane
Save for Harmless and Natural
And Redheaded Jane
Long tentacles linger
Still writhing too near
Ghosts thought forgotten
Rattle chains ‘round here
We pretend they’re all dead
Those specters of fear
But only size twelves
Can squash them, my dear
- - -
Been working on this one a few days now and have now hit a block with it. I keep trying to punch it up with some of the one-liners and imagery I'm so fond of but it keeps telling me it needs to be more simple - more direct. It's odd for me to do rhyme and I'm not sure why I chose it here. I'm already thinking of how to rewrite this without it. Also, I feel like this last stanza needs some work and I'm not sure what to do with it. I want to get the same sentiment across but am definitely open to editing those lines. Oh, and I'd also rather just call this "Haunted by Jellyfish" but how does that work when it's also the first line? Thanks all in advance. I do so love this place.