01-15-2013, 03:55 PM
Hey there. I can almost guarantee that pretty much anyone who's ever been young (and that's all of us here except billy, who was hatched as a grumpy old bastard and has just grown into a bigger one) will understand at least part of what you're saying.
I'll address the reason for this first: when you're a teenager, right through to your mid- (and for some people, late-) twenties, you are the centre of your universe. You are experiencing a lot of things for the first time and they'll seem very intense. Worrying about yourself and how you fit into the world, finding your own identity, trying to understand how this relationship malarky works -- all very common and necessary parts of the transition into adulthood. Now, how does this relate to your above statement? All your friends are in the same position. It's not that they're thoughtless or don't care; it's not that people deliberately ignore you. It's simply a case of you not being the centre of their universe. Empathy takes a lot more years to develop than society is prepared to acknowledge (and for some people, it never develops at all). Men have the additional difficulty of later maturity than women, which means that you have a chemical disadvantage as well -- when you encounter a problem, your brain hasn't quite worked out the appropriate level of hormones to release and you most likely end up with an overdose of adrenalin, the fight-or-flight hormone. That one's handy when you need it, but a pain in the arse to deal with when you don't as it can lead to extreme anxiety and inappropriate responses. Hooray for chemicals!
One of the best lessons you'll ever learn is that you're not all that unique. Oh, I know it's super fashionable for all those positive-thinking guru types to pump people up by saying that you can be whatever you want to be, you're an amazing individual, you're the one who is in charge of your own incredibly fulfilling destiny... but it's all bollocks. That's not to say that everything's hopeless and things that happen to you are only at the whim of the universe -- it means that no matter how convinced you are that your problems are yours alone, there's an excellent chance (rather, a certainty) that someone else (probably many someones) has experienced exactly the same things, or as close to the same as makes no difference.
And yes, all healthy relationships have laughter as one of the strongest foundations. Sharing laughter is sharing vulnerability in equal parts. Nothing can survive without flaws being acknowledged and then rendered powerless by humour.
Quote:I honestly cannot remember a single time a genuine conversation about me was started by someone else.
I'll address the reason for this first: when you're a teenager, right through to your mid- (and for some people, late-) twenties, you are the centre of your universe. You are experiencing a lot of things for the first time and they'll seem very intense. Worrying about yourself and how you fit into the world, finding your own identity, trying to understand how this relationship malarky works -- all very common and necessary parts of the transition into adulthood. Now, how does this relate to your above statement? All your friends are in the same position. It's not that they're thoughtless or don't care; it's not that people deliberately ignore you. It's simply a case of you not being the centre of their universe. Empathy takes a lot more years to develop than society is prepared to acknowledge (and for some people, it never develops at all). Men have the additional difficulty of later maturity than women, which means that you have a chemical disadvantage as well -- when you encounter a problem, your brain hasn't quite worked out the appropriate level of hormones to release and you most likely end up with an overdose of adrenalin, the fight-or-flight hormone. That one's handy when you need it, but a pain in the arse to deal with when you don't as it can lead to extreme anxiety and inappropriate responses. Hooray for chemicals!
One of the best lessons you'll ever learn is that you're not all that unique. Oh, I know it's super fashionable for all those positive-thinking guru types to pump people up by saying that you can be whatever you want to be, you're an amazing individual, you're the one who is in charge of your own incredibly fulfilling destiny... but it's all bollocks. That's not to say that everything's hopeless and things that happen to you are only at the whim of the universe -- it means that no matter how convinced you are that your problems are yours alone, there's an excellent chance (rather, a certainty) that someone else (probably many someones) has experienced exactly the same things, or as close to the same as makes no difference.
And yes, all healthy relationships have laughter as one of the strongest foundations. Sharing laughter is sharing vulnerability in equal parts. Nothing can survive without flaws being acknowledged and then rendered powerless by humour.
It could be worse