Untitled 1st poem

[Todd]

HI Mogra, welcome to the site! I'll address these comments to your edited poem below:

Succor

Pain, like a shadow in the dark,--This isn't a bad opening the structure feels a bit choppy. I'd be tempted to lose the comma after pain and add an is. It would make the flow better. The idea though of pain being nearly invisible in the presence of this other person's smile is a good one.
Banished it seemed in the light of your smile,--look for areas where you can simplify read it out loud. When it sounds a bit forced or choppy smooth it out. Like with this line if you did the simple changes to line one above, it could read: "in the light of your smile"
Hiding, biding waiting,
Always there

What once was whole
Is now ravaged
Scarcely felt…
That first blemish

Time passes in an unseen haze
Skewed through the prism
shards of fragmented possibilities
All become one- Alone


Yet still I crave,
And hope and pray,
For healing from your smile,
From now until my grave.

I'm going to hold off from saying too much in this forum. Simply look to smooth out and simplify and it should get stronger.

Just some thoughts.

Best,

Todd