Untitled 1st poem

[Mogra]

What an improvement!

Blemish is more potent than cut, because it implies a mark on something previously pure. I do like the idea of "joy skewed through the prism of dreams denied" -- the dreams could be more concrete perhaps, but it gives us a good image.

Glad you like the edits.
Not sure what you mean by more concrete though. Dreams denied seems a good image for the loss of what was hoped for in a relationship.