01-14-2013, 09:55 AM
I'm sorry, I don't mean to discourage you or be insulting, but this poem features almost every angst cliche I can think of: dark, shadows, cuts, heart's blood, ravaged soul, claws and talons. By themselves these ideas are fine to use, but using them all together makes this very predictable. If your emotions are that strong, they deserve better than to be thrust into generic phrasing. Also, they deserve a title.
Of course, there are people who like this kind of thing.
Of course, there are people who like this kind of thing.
It could be worse