01-14-2013, 04:49 AM
I'm just getting started and haven't written any free verse yet, but I wonder if you might condense it by moving some of the "connecting words" so they're not alone on their own line. For example, "that", "and", "these", and so forth. I'm not sure it adds anything to have single words by themselves unless they produce an image or idea, or are used in some kind of staccato rhythm. For example:
Each of these lines has some kind of image or idea going on. Even if you kept all the same words you have now, but re-arrange them like the above stanza, the poem will seem more "dense" (in a good way).
Quote:On the brink of insanity
I laugh
At a slap to the face.
Funny to me
The normality
Of such a tragedy.
Each of these lines has some kind of image or idea going on. Even if you kept all the same words you have now, but re-arrange them like the above stanza, the poem will seem more "dense" (in a good way).