Portrait

[billy]

i think therefore she is
nice villanelle, and it works really well because the form is spot on. the 2nd refrain is excellent. a suggestion more than putting anything right, cos there's nowt wrong; the meter change on each 2nd line works a treat with the extra half foot, ( is it a spondee at the beginning and a trochee at the end?) i never saw any problem using her more than once in the b rhyme. sorry if i got the spondee thing wrong

would anything be added by slightly altering the last refrain to;
evolve, take the head, break the heart.

either way a great example of the form.

She smothers her silence with art.
Like coffee, the taste at first bitter
evolves, takes the head, breaks the heart.

Her I is the ex of Descartes
crossed plainly, for though it may split her
she smothers her silence with art.

I am does not sum up the part
she plays as the one who’d admit her
evolves, takes the head, breaks the heart.

Exactly too static to start,
her whole is the soul of the quitter:
she smothers her silence with art.

She moves through the world a la carte
and smorgasbord chaos, to fit her,
evolves, takes the head, breaks the heart.

Don’t plot her, she’s not on your chart
and sensible men will permit her
to smother her silence, for art
evolves, takes the head, breaks the heart.