Hate

[billy]

i too like the first line and the poem as a whole but i'd like to see you use better enjambment. either that or add some more grammar. L5 threw me a curve ball as the syntax feels out of wack. i think the craft in the poem tails off near the latter half into a weaker rant but a good effort nonetheless

historically the common denominator in war is hate
sealed the fate for those not wanting to relate
the lack of communication, two people two races
so this war is what we've come to one line million faces
religion preaches peace and love but poster boy for war
where did u learn to hate? at the church pews before
you were old enough to think alone your mind has been polluted
priests,preachers, and popes are the generals thats recruited
you fight for christ? for buddha? im the anti religion
and i HATE the cloth i laugh as i read and listen
paying attention to this guy as he tells and hurts
because ill embrace my hate and it is the church