hi sonata.
the 1st stanza starts the poem off well.
the 2nd is uses too many intangibles in such a short stanza, what is "beauty divine"? how is she " glorious, magnificent"? the last stanza isn't to bad i specially like the 1st 2 lines of the last stanza. they create a good image.
the 1st stanza starts the poem off well.
the 2nd is uses too many intangibles in such a short stanza, what is "beauty divine"? how is she " glorious, magnificent"? the last stanza isn't to bad i specially like the 1st 2 lines of the last stanza. they create a good image.
Quote:Hello, 2 days ago I started writing poems in English (I've been writing for a long time, but in Serbian). I've written 3 poems in 2 days, and fun thing is every poem is for a different section, I guess whilst writting I get better and better. Here is the first one:
Her gracefulness
She reminds me of an
old, good book.
She is endless.
Beauty divine,
that's her.
Glorious, magnificent,
entirely mine.
Oh Lord, when her eyes stumble upon mine,
I, the lost one, am finally found.
Her gracefulness
is buried deep inside
of me.