01-11-2013, 03:54 AM
Some punctuation would help guide through it better.
No more is kindness,
As though we're mindless
And make "others" possessive.
Of others' delicate beating flesh.
This might be a useless point, but the next two lines are a bit awkward. But they make sense in passing.
Concerned with selfish pleadings
Of ours, to make our useless point;
You can change the punctuation around to make it flow the way you want.
Not being mindful of a sweet kiss.
And always forgetful
Of creation's beginning arrogance:
Expelled from everlasting bliss
For holy disobedience.
No more is kindness,
As though we're mindless
And make "others" possessive.
Of others' delicate beating flesh.
This might be a useless point, but the next two lines are a bit awkward. But they make sense in passing.
Concerned with selfish pleadings
Of ours, to make our useless point;
You can change the punctuation around to make it flow the way you want.
Not being mindful of a sweet kiss.
And always forgetful
Of creation's beginning arrogance:
Expelled from everlasting bliss
For holy disobedience.