Relatively Unmoved

[Stalker]

Over-awed by my brilliance,
he wanted to do-me anyway,It seems that you have a quirk! No one likes this except you. I do not. It adds nothing. A hyphen links two words which deconstruct into nonsense without it. Also, to over-awe and to over-choreograph in the same stanza is over-much.
so he did-me. A kind of
over-choreographed diddling doingI know you have words so this becomes an Unwinism, Stanley
which I allowed.

Following assumption,
during his late post-coital
telephone conversation,
in which my stilted cool
mismatched (unexpected and unwelcome) familiarity
he explained; The foregoing does not conform to any grammatical construct that I am aware of and so for me, it is nonsense. Is that what you wanted? If so...result
‘I haven’t called soonerDidn't....unless deliberately incorrect; in which case why not " I isn't call sooner"
I was at the gym’.
Further,
he had noticed he was heavy lying on me,
I would like it better
If he reduced.

Surely, the imbalance
we suffered
intellect to corpulence
could not possibly be redressed
through diet and exercise alone?Punctuate this stanza in to sense

It does nothing for me but others may see what I do not. This is my last crit for a while. Probably just as well
Best,
and thanks for your postings on mine,
tectak

and thanks right back at ya - probably I have more than one quirk.

Aside from our stylistic differences, I am really struggling to understand your objection to

I haven't called sooner

I think i am done now with gratitutious hyphens - although I may still use them where appropriate. I have got it out of my system so to say. (secretly itching to start on a double hyphenated 3 word extravanganza)