Please Help Me Improve This Birthday Poem

[BennyBoy]

I really enjoyed this poem and I think it's very sweet. I love personal poetry, I do agree that if you added a few more personal lines It would really top it off. what do you think about cutting a word in the second line to help it flow better."Our hands, a warmth that still lingers" just a thought

Thank you for the compliments.

I agree the line you cited is clumsy to read - I'll see if I can de-clumsify it.