01-08-2013, 10:21 AM
Welcome Fathima!
I agree with tectak. The best way to learn is too keep at it and do a lot of reading from various poets and Novice is the best place to start until you get more comfortable with poetry.
My favorite is the last line: "She laughed and thought, 'What tiny people' "---I would imagine a child saying the exact same thing.
"A massive balloon of gas, they explained it"---I would cut out "it" it's not needed.
I think I understand the message of this and it is portrayed well. It's difficult for me to critique this because it serves it's purpose. This is like a snippet of a memory or a quote from a book being shared to the reader. I would like to read some of your other poems.
Hopefully someone else can pop in and be more helpful.
I agree with tectak. The best way to learn is too keep at it and do a lot of reading from various poets and Novice is the best place to start until you get more comfortable with poetry.
My favorite is the last line: "She laughed and thought, 'What tiny people' "---I would imagine a child saying the exact same thing.
"A massive balloon of gas, they explained it"---I would cut out "it" it's not needed.
I think I understand the message of this and it is portrayed well. It's difficult for me to critique this because it serves it's purpose. This is like a snippet of a memory or a quote from a book being shared to the reader. I would like to read some of your other poems.
Hopefully someone else can pop in and be more helpful.