Please Help Me Improve This Birthday Poem

[rowens]

A Time Ahead

I'll never forget our first touch of fingers
Our hands produced a warmth that still lingers

Your smile, your laughter; angelic eyes
Undying kindness like blue endless skies

My faith in life you help instill
For you I care and always will

It's a little too stiff, because the expressions feel awkward and the rhymes look forced.

Try and just be smooth and natural. If this person is really your friend, it's the thought that counts. But if you really want to impress them, make it more personal and unique. As it reads now this poem could be about anyone; you don't have to be too personal, but you can show why this person is unique to you, and let them see that you pay attention. Have them know that you admire and appreciate them as a one of the kind human being.