After the deluge
#4
Already been pointed out the few areas I would tighten up.
'Rain after drought' seems a little heavy handed and slightly clichéd.
There a few words you could prune.

Outside of that I enjoyed the read it flowed very nicely with good imagery.

Poppy ~xx~
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Messages In This Thread
After the deluge - by Bizzy - 01-01-2013, 05:26 AM
RE: After the deluge - by arbil_poieo - 01-02-2013, 06:48 AM
RE: After the deluge - by brandontoh - 01-05-2013, 02:00 AM
RE: After the deluge - by Poppy - 01-06-2013, 09:28 PM



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