The Path We Lost

[tectak]

Amidst the days we dreamed together,da-da, da-da, da-da, da-dit-dit 9 count
Along the nights we couldn’t sleep,da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da. 8 count
Naïve, we thought we’ll have foreverda-da, da-da,da-da, da-dit-dit, 9 count
The touch, the thought, the love...da-da, da-da, da-da, 6 count.This is a good opener. It makes sense. It is romantic. It is terse-verse. It has an interesting rhythm which works beautifully. I wonder where you can go now?

The days grew short, the nights went darkerda-da, da-da, da-da, da-dit-dit 9 coun, as S1.Great stuff
The pain was never-endingda-da, da-da,da-dit-dit, 7 count?????????What happened?
The dear songs, we sang togetherdit-da-da,da-da, da-di-dit 8count, but emphasies now a thing of he past. I am being unfair because you MAY not care about rhythm. Maybe it is the rhyme you are concentrating on. I get A,B (gerund), C,B (gerund)in this but A,B,A,C in the first stanza. Also, that last rhyme is senselessly forced. It may not have enough meaning, either. Check out the rhyme scheme next verse.
Were ghastly fading.

Along the way, the Sphinx foretold This verse is not connected to the rest in a good way. A,B(gerund),C,B (gerund), fine....but, look, last verse A,B,C,D! It is not imortant if you don't think it is important....but if you do, it is. Either way, let's concentrate on the meaning.Enter Sphinx stage left. Huh? OK. It's that kind of a poem. Anything can happen. Question. Do YOU know where this is going because I am losing confidence in the navigator. You are head(ing) up Gerund Avenue and seem happy to (ing) everyth(ing).
The paths would be misleading
You couldn’t tell, you couldn’t see
The true forgiving…...and this is where it gets you. What does this actually mean. I am sorry, but I just do not get it. I get the rhyme-need, though.

I couldn’t see, I couldn’t tell my loveThis poem ended a stanza back. Everyone is now blind and dumb. You can't see, you can't speak, your love likewise. You are both significantly lost and so am I
Too great to dwell in honorsI have really tried to make sense out of this line. Are we playing Contract Bridge? Is that it? Have I got it?
We lost the path, we lost the way
The touch, the thought, the dreams…

Hi zeevs,
I hope that you will take my crit for what it is. I have not embellished my thinking to over-kill the piece. There are some "nice" turns of phrase but once you start ing-ing you are doomed. Gerund Avenue is littered with pages of crumpled paper....no one goes there anymore. Not your best effort but as it says so little to me, I could only suggest that you pick up the message you want to send and pare away everything else. If you do this, the message will be much clearer.
Best,
tectak