01-06-2013, 07:40 AM
Done a fairly major re-work. I've set it out yet another way to see if this is any easier to follow the path of the different poems / forms. (Just for editing process only will not be set out like this in final presentation)
Some brief notes to work out what the hell is going on here:-
The numbers in brackets are what I make the syllable counts to be.
Will put some colour stresses on the Luc bat rhymes and underline ends for sestina
A) = Luc bat should be an alternating count of 6 /8. With the rhyme scheme being on the 8th, 6th, 6th syllable count repeating. (But this did not compute,...so I might have improvised a bit
). Also first rhymes are connected with last two.
B) = the haiku / senyru form with a 5/7/5 syllble count throughout.
C) = The sestina with repeating pattern of 6 end words and a regular line count ( i chose 10).
If you have the staying power please check my counting as in a couple of places I had reservations as to if my count was correct.
Also would be greatful for any feed back concerning if this is just too long and tedious for words.
Stanza 1.
L1.
A) March sighing for her love. (6)
B) Timed out burst. Feet first. (5)
C) necrotic, then new born, now nurturing. (10)
L2.
A) Of late, urgent opportunist, (8)
B) budding swelling, breaking dam. (7)
C) Weathering, the knowledge. The need growing. (10)
L3.
A) Now loves’ unprejudiced, (6)
B) bright light, new day. Start. (5)
C) A race to embrace life. Replenishing, (10)
L4.
A) April, gained through pained mist. Burning, (8).
B). start right, richly veined, (5)
C) every cell, a laden nurse in waiting. (10)
L5.
A) Bourgeoning subterfuge, (6)
B) overflowing growing grass. (7)
C) re-charging, passing and sadly leaving. (10)
L6.
A) Springs the heavy deluge. Doe eyed, (8)
B) Soft breath nuzzling. (5) ( 2 or 3 syllables in nuzzling?)
C) The slender, tender touch of love resting. (10)
Stanza 2.
L1
A) May leaves the safe refuge, (6)
B) nuzzling, nipping. (5)
C) Freshly planted, rising, never resting, (10)
L2
A) rough and rude the buds are shaken! (8)
B) Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes (7)
C) behold the glazed nuance of nurturing. (10)
L3
A) Taken. Lust awakened, (6)
B) may pierce, slipped, held deep. (5)
C) Cleaving into clefts, dividing, leaving, (10)
L4.
A) June all too soon, overtaken. (8) ...thinking the rhyme should be on the 6th syllable.
B) Deep sleep, dappled shade, (5)
C) green and golden garlands, creeping, growing, (10)
L5.
A) sowing a veil of tears. (6)
B) Bugs biting, raindrops kissing. (7)
C). Soft voiced, the trees are whispering, waiting; (10)
L6.
A) worn out by drought filled fears, scolding (8)
B) fighting, free running, (5)
C) cloud baiting. Dewy brush replenishing. (10)
Stanza 3.
L1.
A). July blue. High, dry, clear, (6)
B) running sweat, deep heat. (5)
C) Moisture seeking, roots for replenishing, (10)
L2.
A) subterranean streams. Smoothed clean, (8)
B) matron guarded siesta. (7)
C) Hived bees in honeyed ease, nesting, resting, (10)
L3.
A) Slip-streamed by a moon beam. (6)
B) Refreshing dawn dew, (5)
C) dropping nectar. Wind wise in the waiting. (10)
L4.
A) Ascending slender dreams of mist. (8)
B) Due for a long drink. (5)
C) The blushing dog rose, hip scored, nurturing, (10)
L5.
A) the final fling revealed. (6)
B) Full fat gloaming, evening mist, (7)
C) twining through the vines. Rapidly growing (10)
L6.
A) pensive August appeals. A slaked (8)
B) dark green gathering, (5)
C) falling curtain. Serrated swords, leaving, (10)
Stanza 4.
L1.
A) September – cold. Congealed, (6)
B) Gathering clouds pile; (5)
C) gentle cow-parsley graciously leaving, (10)
L2.
A) bleeding beauty now takes the field, (8)
B) flanked deep, heaving gates aside. (7)
C) Succour-less cells, now non-replenishing. (10)
L3.
A) stone ground. Compressed and sealed, (6)
B) Hard tack ground to creep, (5)
C) the worm feed swelling, forever growing. (10)
L4
A) October had to yield. Pierced lamb, (8)
B) creep, cross over. Call (5)
C) the turning sod aside, belly up, resting. (10)
L5.
A) Nest bound, swallow not yet (6)
B) on the wing. Path flight, first thought. (7)
C) A fatal kiss amid the nurturing. (10)
L6.
A) Fully fledged, held in debt. Grounded, (8)
B) restricted. Re-zoned, (5)
C) abandoned, alone. The pointless waiting. (10)
Stanza 5.
L1.
A) November plays roulette. (6)
B) Zoned in, colour cloned. (5)
C) Browned off and so very tired of waiting. (10)
L2.
A) Focussed for the final dozen. (8)
B) Leaching last connecting shades, (7)
C) the upper tiers are hastily leaving. (10)
L3.
A) The broken bridge. Orphan (6)
B) last step, door is closed. (5)
C) Paid up, cashed in net. Gained from nurturing (10)
L4.
A) nature leaves December corban. (8)
B) Closed off, bagged bundle (5)
C) held by a silent chord, replenishing (10)
L5.
A) Simple things mean so much, (6)
B) Fast expanding awareness. (7)
C) The melodic thud, harmonics resting, (10)
L6.
A) dependant on love’s touch. Leaned on, (8)
B) Fruitful winter store. (5)
C) Yet ravenous and rapine. Still growing. (10)
Stanza 6
L1.
A) Januarys’ last crutch. (6)
B) Store shed, bellies full. (5)
C) The winter wolf is growling and growing. (10)
L2
A) The ever darkened countenance, (8)
B) Cracks plugged to mud and decay, (7)
C) dependant on the benefice - waiting. (10)
L3
A) Now searching, luminance; (6)
B) Main stay, straw and hay. (5).
C) Upon which, the babe will soon be resting. (10)
L4.
A) Re-born into pre-eminence. (8)
B) Hay prepped, full mangers. (5)
C) The much vaunted harvest, southward leaving, (10)
L5.
A) Grace growing, fitted glove. (6)
B) Frost, sun, wind, cloy sod clearing. (7)
C) Blowing the final blast, replenishing, (10)
L6.
A) February’s white dove. Called out (8)
B) Emerging bud time, (5).
C) awakening, loves’ natural nurturing. (10)
C7 Resting on the breast of growing love.
C8 Held in the nurturing and ever waiting arms,
C9 once graven, never leaving. Seasonally replenishing.
Some brief notes to work out what the hell is going on here:-
The numbers in brackets are what I make the syllable counts to be.
Will put some colour stresses on the Luc bat rhymes and underline ends for sestina
A) = Luc bat should be an alternating count of 6 /8. With the rhyme scheme being on the 8th, 6th, 6th syllable count repeating. (But this did not compute,...so I might have improvised a bit
). Also first rhymes are connected with last two.B) = the haiku / senyru form with a 5/7/5 syllble count throughout.
C) = The sestina with repeating pattern of 6 end words and a regular line count ( i chose 10).
If you have the staying power please check my counting as in a couple of places I had reservations as to if my count was correct.
Also would be greatful for any feed back concerning if this is just too long and tedious for words.
Stanza 1.
L1.
A) March sighing for her love. (6)
B) Timed out burst. Feet first. (5)
C) necrotic, then new born, now nurturing. (10)
L2.
A) Of late, urgent opportunist, (8)
B) budding swelling, breaking dam. (7)
C) Weathering, the knowledge. The need growing. (10)
L3.
A) Now loves’ unprejudiced, (6)
B) bright light, new day. Start. (5)
C) A race to embrace life. Replenishing, (10)
L4.
A) April, gained through pained mist. Burning, (8).
B). start right, richly veined, (5)
C) every cell, a laden nurse in waiting. (10)
L5.
A) Bourgeoning subterfuge, (6)
B) overflowing growing grass. (7)
C) re-charging, passing and sadly leaving. (10)
L6.
A) Springs the heavy deluge. Doe eyed, (8)
B) Soft breath nuzzling. (5) ( 2 or 3 syllables in nuzzling?)
C) The slender, tender touch of love resting. (10)
Stanza 2.
L1
A) May leaves the safe refuge, (6)
B) nuzzling, nipping. (5)
C) Freshly planted, rising, never resting, (10)
L2
A) rough and rude the buds are shaken! (8)
B) Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes (7)
C) behold the glazed nuance of nurturing. (10)
L3
A) Taken. Lust awakened, (6)
B) may pierce, slipped, held deep. (5)
C) Cleaving into clefts, dividing, leaving, (10)
L4.
A) June all too soon, overtaken. (8) ...thinking the rhyme should be on the 6th syllable.
B) Deep sleep, dappled shade, (5)
C) green and golden garlands, creeping, growing, (10)
L5.
A) sowing a veil of tears. (6)
B) Bugs biting, raindrops kissing. (7)
C). Soft voiced, the trees are whispering, waiting; (10)
L6.
A) worn out by drought filled fears, scolding (8)
B) fighting, free running, (5)
C) cloud baiting. Dewy brush replenishing. (10)
Stanza 3.
L1.
A). July blue. High, dry, clear, (6)
B) running sweat, deep heat. (5)
C) Moisture seeking, roots for replenishing, (10)
L2.
A) subterranean streams. Smoothed clean, (8)
B) matron guarded siesta. (7)
C) Hived bees in honeyed ease, nesting, resting, (10)
L3.
A) Slip-streamed by a moon beam. (6)
B) Refreshing dawn dew, (5)
C) dropping nectar. Wind wise in the waiting. (10)
L4.
A) Ascending slender dreams of mist. (8)
B) Due for a long drink. (5)
C) The blushing dog rose, hip scored, nurturing, (10)
L5.
A) the final fling revealed. (6)
B) Full fat gloaming, evening mist, (7)
C) twining through the vines. Rapidly growing (10)
L6.
A) pensive August appeals. A slaked (8)
B) dark green gathering, (5)
C) falling curtain. Serrated swords, leaving, (10)
Stanza 4.
L1.
A) September – cold. Congealed, (6)
B) Gathering clouds pile; (5)
C) gentle cow-parsley graciously leaving, (10)
L2.
A) bleeding beauty now takes the field, (8)
B) flanked deep, heaving gates aside. (7)
C) Succour-less cells, now non-replenishing. (10)
L3.
A) stone ground. Compressed and sealed, (6)
B) Hard tack ground to creep, (5)
C) the worm feed swelling, forever growing. (10)
L4
A) October had to yield. Pierced lamb, (8)
B) creep, cross over. Call (5)
C) the turning sod aside, belly up, resting. (10)
L5.
A) Nest bound, swallow not yet (6)
B) on the wing. Path flight, first thought. (7)
C) A fatal kiss amid the nurturing. (10)
L6.
A) Fully fledged, held in debt. Grounded, (8)
B) restricted. Re-zoned, (5)
C) abandoned, alone. The pointless waiting. (10)
Stanza 5.
L1.
A) November plays roulette. (6)
B) Zoned in, colour cloned. (5)
C) Browned off and so very tired of waiting. (10)
L2.
A) Focussed for the final dozen. (8)
B) Leaching last connecting shades, (7)
C) the upper tiers are hastily leaving. (10)
L3.
A) The broken bridge. Orphan (6)
B) last step, door is closed. (5)
C) Paid up, cashed in net. Gained from nurturing (10)
L4.
A) nature leaves December corban. (8)
B) Closed off, bagged bundle (5)
C) held by a silent chord, replenishing (10)
L5.
A) Simple things mean so much, (6)
B) Fast expanding awareness. (7)
C) The melodic thud, harmonics resting, (10)
L6.
A) dependant on love’s touch. Leaned on, (8)
B) Fruitful winter store. (5)
C) Yet ravenous and rapine. Still growing. (10)
Stanza 6
L1.
A) Januarys’ last crutch. (6)
B) Store shed, bellies full. (5)
C) The winter wolf is growling and growing. (10)
L2
A) The ever darkened countenance, (8)
B) Cracks plugged to mud and decay, (7)
C) dependant on the benefice - waiting. (10)
L3
A) Now searching, luminance; (6)
B) Main stay, straw and hay. (5).
C) Upon which, the babe will soon be resting. (10)
L4.
A) Re-born into pre-eminence. (8)
B) Hay prepped, full mangers. (5)
C) The much vaunted harvest, southward leaving, (10)
L5.
A) Grace growing, fitted glove. (6)
B) Frost, sun, wind, cloy sod clearing. (7)
C) Blowing the final blast, replenishing, (10)
L6.
A) February’s white dove. Called out (8)
B) Emerging bud time, (5).
C) awakening, loves’ natural nurturing. (10)
C7 Resting on the breast of growing love.
C8 Held in the nurturing and ever waiting arms,
C9 once graven, never leaving. Seasonally replenishing.