Apart

[serge gurkski]

fixing the comma and thank you again!

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tec wrote: Good edit,serge....but l would say that, wouldn't I?

yeah. Concerning the semi-colon: Why not just a full stop?


cheers
Serge

Full stop is fine, serge. There is, though, a strong connection of dependency between the two lines which may be lost by the ultimacy of the full stop. Of course, the purpose of punctuation is to bind, control and indicate. I agree with you in that poetry in this forum is not necessarily for reading "out loud" so the reader can gallop or stroll through the piece in his/her head. The dramatic pause of comma, semi-colon, colon or full-stop changes in duration with the pace of the read. The ratio, though, should be consistent. I was always taught that comma, count 1; semi- colon, count 2; colon,count 4; full stop.....to suit the reader's dramatic requirement.
It is an old guide and times change
Best,
tectak

I will try to convince a wonderful person to recite it for me. )my soundcard sucks). So wish me luck.