Blue Rose Garden

[Todd]

Hi,

I've read through this one a bit, and I like it. It feels like it could be tightened some. Blue Rose Garden as a metaphor for the well of creativity we draw from. Here are some comments and some suggested cuts for your consideration:

Thanks for reading my poem! =)

Blue Rose Garden

Blue roses, needing neither water nor soil--maybe cut the comma and go to the present tense with need
To prosper. They grow, amidst bushes, on the walls,--you may not need They grow or the inline punctuation
In mid-air. Floating, they look prettiest. Coy leaflets, morning dew,--these introductory phrases feel a bit jarring to me (nothing big, I think they work but you could equally just cut In mid-air. I think you could also cut the descriptors that aren't image "they look prettiest" Floating coy leaflets, morning dew, as it stands is lovely
Accentuate the allure. Bulbs, with petals of--again that introductory accentuate the allure could go. I would also consider pulling daydream up to end the line. It's a strong end word and hue is a strong start for the next line. It has a nice layering to it
Daydream hue, folded in divine manner--nice line
Like demure girls, wanting hugs. Thornless--again smooth phrasing, not overwritten, I love the image
Blue roses, flourish with hopes and dreams,--I would consider cutting this first instance of blue roses. I think the next line works better without the repetition
All in the blue rose garden.

Boundless garden, blooming roses, --you could possibly cut garden here as you have it on the previous line and it likely buys you little
Floating around, soaring above, resting below,--the repetition of floating around could likely be cut
Far as eyes can see, glitters of sapphire, under a Sun that--the first phrase is slightly cliche. I don't see how starting with glitters is anything but an improvement.
Never sets. The garden, evergreen, diffuses a scent,
Youthful, passionate, brimming with life.
Boundless garden, blooming roses,--again for me, and it might just be me I don't think the repetition adds much

Until the reverie shatters.
When inspiration runs dry, hope runs thin, --I like hope runs thin but the inspiration runs dry is a bit overdone and cliche. You could probably salvage it by simply cutting both "runs" and making the dry and thin plural
Lush greenery, astral flora, give way to--cutting greenery and the comma after it makes it more interesting. The to also isn't that effective of a line break. Consider pulling up cement to end the line
Cement gray, to stale apathy. When maturity spread
Wilting curses, when the roses all fall, buried under the--you could cut the at the end of this line
Asphalt, when the garden shrinks, slowly, until it
Implodes. Death, of the senses, of creativity, of the soul.
Blue roses, needing dreams and aspirations
To stay alive.

I know those are a lot of line comments to think about. I hope it's helpful.

Best,

Todd