a sonnet for you

[billy]

great effort

Is poetry a media for old, no need of comma
crotchety, British men with two degrees? no need for comma
Will someone break the punctuation mold? going great so far.
The void of time controls retirees
as thumbs do twiddle in the Durham flats. needs the first part rewording so as to not feel archaic, or forced
Grammatic errors nit and picked with care nit and picked? would knit and picked work better?
by lonely men surrounded by their cats,
Without changing their brown stained underwear. the meter feels a bit awkward though leanne's the one for this, i'd suggest 'without a change of brown stained underwear
Or is it something more than meets the eye?
A language that expresses more than words.
A way to understand the reasons why
a mans condition differs from a bird's man's

My questions seem to never have an end.
Where will my soul rest? it all depends. the couplet feels forced and i haven't a clue what it means, specially the last line.

what a great effort and yes we can use an odd expletive here we can use lots of expletives in the sewer

there was so much to like in the poem and it really is a great effort. more so that it was you're first. i think the meter was a bit off in a couple of places but the thing was definitely a decent sonnet.

thanks for the read