01-03-2013, 04:37 AM
Hi! Nice to meet fellow poetry enthusiasts here. =) I'm hoping to get valuable criticism from this forum, so feel free to be as harsh as possible. I appreciate everyone who reads my poems, and also the comments given.
First Edit:
The Dark Knight
The elusive beast, all claws and fangs, with an
Insatiable hunger, omniscient under the moonlight.
It’s onto you, you know, when the tips of its sharp appendages
Run down your spine. Escape, just scram, don’t think,
Until dawn cracks. Fall into its clutches, and be gnawed,
Swallowed whole. Be wary, be conscious, or you’ll be digested
Not knowing when, how, or why.
The city, all claws and fangs, with an
Insatiable hunger.
I’m a spawn of the monster, yearning to put it to sleep.
To quiet the dark, buried heart that
Beats noisily.
I’m a spawn of the monster, but different from the rest.
They relish in the beast’s mane, prancing
In neon delirium. They polish its weapons, I
Break them. They love their master,
I loathe it.
Human spirit, innately good, keeps the fight alive.
Beneath the vile corruption, beyond the wretched bile,
There must be compassion. Remove the pollution that
Became the accepted state of being. The fiend will die,
Alongside the plague it brought. Then comes the guardian,
Alongside the peace and smiles. And I, shall be lowered
Into the earth with the city’s darkness, waiting for the time to
Rise again, should the foul heart starts beating once more.
Original:
The Dark Knight
The monster has claws, fangs, and a rumbling stomach.
An elusive beast, omnipresent under the moonlight.
It’s onto you, you know, when the very tip of its sharp appendages
Run down your spine. Escape, just scram, don’t think,
Until dawn cracks. Don’t let it grab you, pull you down, and
Swallow you whole. Be wary, be conscious, or you’ll be digested
Not knowing when, how, or why.
The city has claws, fangs, and a rumbling stomach.
I’m a spawn of the monster, yearning to put it to sleep.
To quiet the dark, buried heart that
Beats noisily every night, and sometimes day as well.
I’m a spawn of the monster, but different from the rest.
They relish in the beast’s mane, prancing
In neon delirium. They polish its weapons, I
Break them. They love their master,
I loathe it.
Human spirit, innate good; keeping the fight alive.
Beneath the vile corruption, beyond the wretched bile,
There must be compassion. Remove the pollution that
Became the accepted state of being. The fiend will die,
Alongside the plague it brought. Then comes the guardian,
Alongside the peace and smiles. And I, shall be lowered
Into the earth with the city’s darkness, waiting for the time to
Rise again, should the foul heart starts beating once more.
First Edit:
The Dark Knight
The elusive beast, all claws and fangs, with an
Insatiable hunger, omniscient under the moonlight.
It’s onto you, you know, when the tips of its sharp appendages
Run down your spine. Escape, just scram, don’t think,
Until dawn cracks. Fall into its clutches, and be gnawed,
Swallowed whole. Be wary, be conscious, or you’ll be digested
Not knowing when, how, or why.
The city, all claws and fangs, with an
Insatiable hunger.
I’m a spawn of the monster, yearning to put it to sleep.
To quiet the dark, buried heart that
Beats noisily.
I’m a spawn of the monster, but different from the rest.
They relish in the beast’s mane, prancing
In neon delirium. They polish its weapons, I
Break them. They love their master,
I loathe it.
Human spirit, innately good, keeps the fight alive.
Beneath the vile corruption, beyond the wretched bile,
There must be compassion. Remove the pollution that
Became the accepted state of being. The fiend will die,
Alongside the plague it brought. Then comes the guardian,
Alongside the peace and smiles. And I, shall be lowered
Into the earth with the city’s darkness, waiting for the time to
Rise again, should the foul heart starts beating once more.
Original:
The Dark Knight
The monster has claws, fangs, and a rumbling stomach.
An elusive beast, omnipresent under the moonlight.
It’s onto you, you know, when the very tip of its sharp appendages
Run down your spine. Escape, just scram, don’t think,
Until dawn cracks. Don’t let it grab you, pull you down, and
Swallow you whole. Be wary, be conscious, or you’ll be digested
Not knowing when, how, or why.
The city has claws, fangs, and a rumbling stomach.
I’m a spawn of the monster, yearning to put it to sleep.
To quiet the dark, buried heart that
Beats noisily every night, and sometimes day as well.
I’m a spawn of the monster, but different from the rest.
They relish in the beast’s mane, prancing
In neon delirium. They polish its weapons, I
Break them. They love their master,
I loathe it.
Human spirit, innate good; keeping the fight alive.
Beneath the vile corruption, beyond the wretched bile,
There must be compassion. Remove the pollution that
Became the accepted state of being. The fiend will die,
Alongside the plague it brought. Then comes the guardian,
Alongside the peace and smiles. And I, shall be lowered
Into the earth with the city’s darkness, waiting for the time to
Rise again, should the foul heart starts beating once more.
Back!