12-31-2012, 02:44 AM
Your critique is very astute. It is a beginning to more poems about the same subject. Thank your for the comments.
(12-30-2012, 01:59 PM)winterborn Wrote: This has a very fantastical feel to it - I like some of the imagery - specifically the "Stygian form", the "maw" and the "spheres" - they create a good link to other tales of myth and legend
Personally, I think this could have said more than it did - it seemed as though you set this up to be a story, rather than just the description that you ended with. But of course, that is just my opinion!
The repetition in this was interesting, and I wanted to know more about the importance that you placed on the pavillions, especially since you ended with an exclamation mark
Overall, I enjoyed this poem, it had a well constructed atmosphere.
