seasonal

[cidermaid]

Sorry about this...it is kinda getting out of control.
Billy :- please feel free to move this if you wish, I know I've strayed miles from the intended Haiku thread. (Don't mind where...who knows what this should come under )

Ok a few notes to help out....
Poem on left = Luc Bat
centre poem = Haiku (ish)
Poem on right = Sestina (of sorts...first effort at one of these)


I have a few questions.!!
Poem is now finished, but it looks like a huge block of text.....Is this going to make it off putting to the reader?

What do you think of the choice of poetic forms? (I decided I couldn't make the sonnet work because of the line count). Not sure I've really got the hang of the sestina, I think i might have miss a rule concerning iambic meter. The sites I looked at didn't agree on this. (...and I end up with the last tercet hanging at the bottom, which is a bit messy). My other options considered were a ghazal or pantoum....I personally think the Luc Bat is working quiet well. Particularly looking for opinions on this question please. (I'llm post the poetic form i used notes below to save people time looking them up)
My final question concerns the punctuation. Dose anyone have any opinions on this. Should i set it out with the punctuation correct for the overall poem...ie as it is presented on the page....or set up the punctuation for the individual...or does anyone think it should be written to be grammatically correct which ever way it is read? [if the latter i think i will probably loose the will to live and give up because i don't think i'm clever enough to do that!]
Many thanks for your help
Don't worry I've nearly finished obsessing about this It's a long way from what i set out to do, but it has been fun.


SEASONAL

March sighing for her love. Timed out burst. Feet first. From new born to necrotic nurturing.
Of late, urgent opportunist, budding swelling, breaking dam. Weathering, the pains that are growing.
now loves’ unprejudiced, bright light, new day. Start. The clock is ticking on life, replenishing

April, gained through pained mist. Full of Start right, richly veined, every cell, a laden nurse in waiting.
Bourgeoning subterfuge, overflowing growing grass. Ever changing, outreaching, yet never leaving.
Springs the heavy deluge. Doe eyed, Soft breath nuzzling. The slender, tender touch of love resting.

May leaves the safe refuge, nuzzling, nipping. Freshly planted, sap rising, not resting,
rough and rude the buds are shaken! Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes behold the glazed nuance of nurturing.
Taken. Lust awakened may pierce, slipped, held deep. Cleaving into clefts, dividing and leaving,

June all too soon, overtaken. Deep sleep, dappled shade, green and golden garlands growing,
sowing a veil of tears. Bugs biting, raindrops kissing. Soft voiced trees, whispering, waiting;
worn out by drought filled fears, played out. Play fighting, free running, cloud baiting. Dewy caress replenishing

July blue, high, dry, clear, running sweat, deep heat. Moisture reaching roots replenishing,
searching out the cool smoothing streams Matron guarded, siesta. The hived bees in honeyed ease resting,
Slip-streamed by a moon beam. Refreshing dawn dew, dropping nectar. The knowing in the waiting.

Ascending, slender dreams of mist. Due for a long drink. The blushing dog rose nurturing,
the final fling revealed. Full fat gloaming, evening mist, twining through the vines, growing.
Pensive August appeals. Concealed, Dark green gathering, falling curtain of swords cleaving, leaving,

September – reluctant. Congealed, gathering clouds pile; gentle cow-parsley graciously leaving,
bleeding beauty now takes the field, flanked deep, heaving gates aside. All moisture withdrawn, non-replenishing.
a fate caressed and sealed. Stone-ground, hard tack ground to creep, worm feed swelling, forever growing.

October refused to yield. Pierced lamb, creep, cross over. Call a turning clod aside, belly up, resting.
A nest bound, last swallow not yet on the wing. Path flight, first thought. A fatal kiss amid the nurturing.
Fully fledged, held in debt. Restricted. Re-zoned, abandoned, alone. The pointless waiting.

November plays roulette. Focussed Zoned in, colour cloned. Browned off, so very tired of waiting
for the final dozen. Leaching last connecting shades, the upper floor players are leaving.
The broken bridge. Orphan, sylvan last step, door is closed. Fully paid up, net gain in the nurturing.

Leaves December corban. Closed off, bagged bundle. A silver thread among the thorns, replenishing
The simple things that mean so much, Fast expanding awareness. A silver dagger for a tongue, resting,
dependant on love’s touch. Fruitful winter store. Yet ravenous and rapine. Still growing.

January will need a crutch. Store shed, bellies full. The winter wolf is growling and growing.
With darkened countenance, Cracks plugged to mud and decay, dependant on the benefice whilst waiting.
Provenance, luminance; best guess, Main stay, straw and hay. Upon which, the babe will soon be resting.

found in pre-eminence. Hay prepped, full mangers. Much vaunted harvest, southward leaving,
the growing grace, a fitted glove. Cloy clods, frost, sun, wind clearing and leading the grey away, replenishing
February’s white dove. Emerging bud time awakening, first loves’ natural nurturing.

Resting on the breast of growing love.
Held in the nurturing and ever waiting arms,
Once graven, never leaving, seasonally replenishing.