12-27-2012, 06:18 PM
Hi Billy, Thanks for the feedback. Thought it would be you who would pick up my cheat (darn it!).
I have two questions (sort of directed at both you and Leanne as it involves both of your pet poetic forms)
My other idea on this one was to combine this form with another form that would run secondary (and sort of offset in presentation). So in effect there would be three poems in one:- A combined poem (Read as one continuous stream / piece) and then the two individual poems read separately...as they are set out on the page. Was entirely thinking of using a sonnet (but the sonnet would have to be line spread down the page). Wanted to capture my love for watching the seasons and every different stage of growth and development in the horses. So hence a love poem about nature in the seasons and Haiku for the horses. Assuming I can manage this...which I'm not sure I can....I wanted to sound people out on the idea (before I pull out all my hair trying)...so posted this section first....Leanne and you have both given favourable comments that the form idea works, for the first stage (and I’m not to bothered about the content at this stage...I know it is weak and highly flawed, but comments noted for when I get to it) ....I'm more interested in the concept / idea. So what is your view on this second application being added?
A second question: You mentioned some confusion over these lines:
Nuzzling, nipping.
Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes. (Watching foal at foot)
May pierce, slipped, held deep.
This is describing a stallion covering a mare..Normally done around April / May....piercing - flagpoles and all that good stuff.
The mare can then hold the covering or slip it...and some mares are so deep you need a snorkel if you are going in to examine them!
Do you think this unreachable / too specific to the breeding industry or
having read the poem all the way through it becomes more apparent. I ask because I notice that sometimes you make a comment on the hoof as you read through and then edit this on reflection or completion of reading the whole poem....just wandering if I need to change this when I work on it?
Really appreciate your thoughts and comments on this one. Quite excited about the idea and seeing if I can make it work, but not sure if it is just a bit random and silly or not. So give it to me straight and put me out of my misery if this is a daft idea.
I have two questions (sort of directed at both you and Leanne as it involves both of your pet poetic forms)
My other idea on this one was to combine this form with another form that would run secondary (and sort of offset in presentation). So in effect there would be three poems in one:- A combined poem (Read as one continuous stream / piece) and then the two individual poems read separately...as they are set out on the page. Was entirely thinking of using a sonnet (but the sonnet would have to be line spread down the page). Wanted to capture my love for watching the seasons and every different stage of growth and development in the horses. So hence a love poem about nature in the seasons and Haiku for the horses. Assuming I can manage this...which I'm not sure I can....I wanted to sound people out on the idea (before I pull out all my hair trying)...so posted this section first....Leanne and you have both given favourable comments that the form idea works, for the first stage (and I’m not to bothered about the content at this stage...I know it is weak and highly flawed, but comments noted for when I get to it) ....I'm more interested in the concept / idea. So what is your view on this second application being added?
A second question: You mentioned some confusion over these lines:
Nuzzling, nipping.
Leap, thrust, hold. Innocent eyes. (Watching foal at foot)
May pierce, slipped, held deep.
This is describing a stallion covering a mare..Normally done around April / May....piercing - flagpoles and all that good stuff.
The mare can then hold the covering or slip it...and some mares are so deep you need a snorkel if you are going in to examine them!Do you think this unreachable / too specific to the breeding industry or
having read the poem all the way through it becomes more apparent. I ask because I notice that sometimes you make a comment on the hoof as you read through and then edit this on reflection or completion of reading the whole poem....just wandering if I need to change this when I work on it?
Really appreciate your thoughts and comments on this one. Quite excited about the idea and seeing if I can make it work, but not sure if it is just a bit random and silly or not. So give it to me straight and put me out of my misery if this is a daft idea.