Midnight Sun

[tectak]

Greetings and Merry Christmas! This be my first time on this forum. Reason why I joined is rather simple. When I was a kid I used to write poems, and later in life at school I was told to have an interesting imagination. I've never really cared much of what was said but finally few days ago I decided to give it another go. Last time I sat down to read poems was when I was 10-11ish. I am not an active reader/writer so please criticize my poems in an understandable way for me due to my lack of knowledge/skill. Also keep in mind that English is not my native language. I've learned it from school, tv and the internet. Here goes!
Taking due note of your comments I will try for a line by line. Any errors of language affect the feel of a poem.....but that issue is secondary to your wish to improve yourself in an arena, which by your own words, is alien to you. Writing poetry will give you pleasure at all skill levels.....it is worthy if you to try to improve your work for the reader!
Midnight Sun

It's dark, It's cold, forever more You begin with two unassociated "its". Better to say "The room is dark......." and re-rhyme the couplet; particularly as you give no reason why the prevailing ambience is permanent.
I'm sitting here, looking at the door There now follows a dreadfully contrived couplet which repeats "wonder wonder" to no purpose without progressing the story. What on earth do you wonder how? And as to wondering when, you answer this question in the next line.....now.
I wonder when, I wonder how
My heart in sorrow as I sit right now. This opening stanza is probably not salvageable. It really does not work. You gave chosen to go with AABB rhyme scheme which is probably the easiest to work with (nothing wrong with that) and so I don't feel too overbearing in suggesting;
This room is dark, and always cold;
I sit and let my thoughts unfold.
The door means hope for new tomorrows
but why is my heart full of sorrows?
........or something. Over to you...its your bloody poem
Memories glance upon my eyes Nice line, maybe into instead of upon...your call
Tormenting my soul with many lies Tormented soul is a big cliche
They trick me with their sweet disguise
My mind is taken, in despair it lies.
They trick me (the memories) with their sweet disguise;
my mind is lost, and broken lies.
Only a suggestion t.o. preserve the rhythm. The "in" before "despair" caused a half-step too many . Sorry about the inversion but it is ONLY a suggestion.
The days pass, nights as well Rhythm two beats short in this line. Your turn to correct
I'm hopeless and it hurts like hell
I wish it'd stop, this pain of mine
So the sun once more, on my soul shall shine. ...ah, How I love the Ol' blues.Deedaly, deedaly,deedaly-do
STOP NOW! You have said it all and you will only say it all again if you keep on going.
It's hard to think, it's hard to know
What I should do, for I love you so
The more I try, the more I hurt
My knees so weak, I hit the dirt.

The darkness scatters my thoughts away
I kneel and close my eyes to pray
That your smile will find its way
And turn this gruesome darkness into day.

As I open my eyes I look around
I see a shadow, I hear a sound
In despair my mind is drowned
I close my eyes and turn around. and I am bloody dizzy. Which way are you facing?

I'll stand my ground, I will not run
As my end approaches, my soul undone
I mumble a prayer, not two but one
That you should be my midnight sun.

To be honest, the whole piece is an unrequited cliche BUT you did make some nice observations on the human condition. Solitude, hopelessness, unconditional surrender to love are all in here. The piece is over-romanticised to death and will appeal to the Teddy Bear brigade. I think it needs dirtying up a bit......
Best,
tectak[/b]