12-26-2012, 11:45 AM
I think this started out as strong, like a statement or a declaration but then the last stanza and especially the last line kinda fizzled out.
I like "Tears run down my cheek, with fists I rub my eyes" to me it signifies anger, but the rest felt either cliche or didn't make the same impact as the rest of the poem. The last line shouldn't be a question because yet again the poem shows strength and standing up but it ended with a question mark and unoriginal.
The first 2 stanzas is a simple image, but meaningful...I really them. They're influential in a way and observant.
This has very good potential.
I like "Tears run down my cheek, with fists I rub my eyes" to me it signifies anger, but the rest felt either cliche or didn't make the same impact as the rest of the poem. The last line shouldn't be a question because yet again the poem shows strength and standing up but it ended with a question mark and unoriginal.
The first 2 stanzas is a simple image, but meaningful...I really them. They're influential in a way and observant.
This has very good potential.