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--preoccupied--
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12-19-2012, 06:32 AM
I don't think the second line is needed. Without it you could almost have a haiku. The third comma could also go. All in all it's a funny poem, countering a somber image with a cockeyed punchline. Thanks for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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| Messages In This Thread |
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--preoccupied-- - by benthejack - 12-08-2012, 07:07 PM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by Keith - 12-11-2012, 08:12 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by billy - 12-11-2012, 09:26 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by TwistedAngel - 12-13-2012, 03:42 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by Jae Mc Donnell - 12-13-2012, 07:17 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by benthejack - 12-13-2012, 07:22 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by Jae Mc Donnell - 12-13-2012, 01:28 PM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by davidbenjamindix - 12-19-2012, 12:36 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by heslopian - 12-19-2012, 06:32 AM
RE: --preoccupied-- - by Arriedo - 01-09-2013, 12:59 AM
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