Warriors for Jesus

[billy]

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

As a child I wanted to be a warrior for Jesus.
My church gave us pamphlets on the covers of which
a boy and girl, each smiling, crossed swords,
light emerging from their tips
like that which dawned on Eden once.
But I looked at those swords and my veil of love
was stirred by darker thoughts.

"What were swords designed to do?"
Relieve men of their guts.
"What does a warrior preach?"
Submission by the blade,
violence, hatred and death,
young men slaughtered at the Somme,
families shot in Iraq.

With Jesus' heart I'd stride through the desert
murdering pagans and Jews, the light of Eden in my sword. i love this line and the one above.
I said it was just a metaphor, but symbols are passionless.
I couldn't feel the Holy Ghost moving in me;
my young heart was queer, my temple empty. i so want to make some funny remark at these last two lines but i refuse to.

not a sad poem though the last three lines were by themselves sad. as though the 1st person felt deprived of god's calling. i often suggest cutting back poems because they're too wordy. this is one of those narrative poems that need to be wordy. i change my mind, it's almost heartbreaking.
it's very hard for me to imagine the suffering, pain or feeling of others. this poem puts something into words, a feeling of rejection maybe, and it's pretty strong. the more i read it, the more i see. no nits to speak of.

thanks for the read