Hi B,
Nice to see you over here. Thanks for the read. I'll give what you say some thought. You always have a good eye for this stuff.
Thanks
I hesitate to add this word maybe I mean to say "just" meat.
Hmmm not sure what I might do with Arka's submerged comment yet. That might take some more thought to play with ideas and see what might be better. The lines might actually work without punctuation. Hmmm again...
The only option I can think of at the moment for Arka's point (as a possible change is this):
beneath an icy pond
from which there is no
Still thinking about that.
Nice to see you over here. Thanks for the read. I'll give what you say some thought. You always have a good eye for this stuff.
Thanks
I hesitate to add this word maybe I mean to say "just" meat.
Hmmm not sure what I might do with Arka's submerged comment yet. That might take some more thought to play with ideas and see what might be better. The lines might actually work without punctuation. Hmmm again...
The only option I can think of at the moment for Arka's point (as a possible change is this):
beneath an icy pond
from which there is no
Still thinking about that.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson