Don't kill me. Don't break my legs. No maiming. And please don't hit me with the swear jar. Every time it gets clearer there are a few minor things that pop out (they're options but I'll bring them up):
As calm as these Ionian hues
Lost forever in as this moments death
That at dawn they shall be gone
As Loggerheads on the tides
Those are the only nits I had, and mostly I consider those options to smooth out the flow.
It's lovely. You've done great work. I'd be proud of the poem.
Best,
Todd
As calm as these Ionian hues
Lost forever in as this moments death
That at dawn they shall be gone
As Loggerheads on the tides
Those are the only nits I had, and mostly I consider those options to smooth out the flow.
It's lovely. You've done great work. I'd be proud of the poem.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson