12-03-2012, 07:03 AM
i really liked this until the last line
"So please make me whole"..just so soooo needy an makes the author seem weak..who wants someone weak right ?
imo if you started with a question then maybe end it on a question..
'So how can I ever be whole?'..puts the ball back into the readers court kinda thing without the author losing face
errm if that makes any sense
"So please make me whole"..just so soooo needy an makes the author seem weak..who wants someone weak right ?
imo if you started with a question then maybe end it on a question..
'So how can I ever be whole?'..puts the ball back into the readers court kinda thing without the author losing face
errm if that makes any sense