Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks

Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks

Todd Offline

Empty Suit

Posts: 2,359
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

#12

11-28-2012, 07:14 AM

Much tighter. Should black drop be two words (just asking it looks off)? Maybe on the end line "her" need instead of "a".

I think it's an effective edit. I like it.

Best,

Todd

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-26-2012, 11:20 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Todd - 11-26-2012, 11:33 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-26-2012, 11:38 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Todd - 11-26-2012, 11:39 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-26-2012, 11:53 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Keith - 11-27-2012, 08:14 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by addy - 11-27-2012, 01:29 PM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-27-2012, 03:46 PM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Bloggsworth - 11-27-2012, 05:59 PM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-27-2012, 07:34 PM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-28-2012, 07:05 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Todd - 11-28-2012, 07:14 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-28-2012, 07:21 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Todd - 11-28-2012, 07:22 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-28-2012, 07:24 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by Keith - 11-28-2012, 09:44 AM

RE: Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks - by billy - 11-28-2012, 10:01 AM

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Login
Username:
Password:	Lost Password?
	Remember me