My river

[addy]

I agree, it's nice the way the layout of the poem stretches and wanes. It does remind me a little bit of a river, where at points it is wide and calm at points there are rapids.

I think my main critique is that I want to get more of a feel for the metaphor; I know the narrator is erratic, dramatic, aloof, etc.... but how does that contrast with the "river", her lover? If she sees her lover as a river, what is their relationship? What does that make her? I think that's where you have the most potential to add imagery (Just my opinion). At times her lover "floods her with love" (she's like a wetland), but she can also swim in the river (like a fish), is often aloof to the river (like a bird), can withstand and embrace its tides and currents (like the sea), etc etc etc. I already like what's going on here, but there's still plenty of potential room to expand on, especially in the first stanza, which was full of abstract terms rather than concrete imagery.

Thanks for the read