Smoggy Sunrise Over Tower Blocks

[Bloggsworth]

Redacted is a mot de nos jours, usually used when names and actions are obscured in sensitive intelligence documents; I too think refracted is a more likely word.

I think I saw the sun today; a peek
as carbon clouds redacted rays
not hidden by the concrete fence
pointedly protruding through. The black ------- The logic gets a bit confused around here. Pointetdly protruding is in
of the horizon. Nothing showed; --------------- my view an alliteration too far. The black of the horizon is not
a glow, a ruddy, bloody sombre show. --------- a sentence, so should acquire a verb or failing that, be stopped at one end or the other, but not both.
My partner took her photograph and smiled
I lied, agreed that yes indeed, how right she was,
the sight of light in such a way
displayed was beautiful. It seemed
to fill a need.

For me, the end disagrees with the beginning in that the poets original take was rather dystopian, and even though "I lied" prefaces the last four lines, the agreement is too pat; perhaps:

the sight of light in such a way
displayed had beauty, it seemed
to fill a need.

It leaves the interpretation of the poet's final words open to doubt.