Bath by candle light
#3
You captured a lot of iconic imagery. An effective piece.

(11-27-2012, 09:23 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote:  The lights have gone the house is out, neat play on "the power's out"
the power heard the miners shout.
Police shields and barricades,
black lungs and early graves

Maggi cry’s cries close them down,
nothing left in this town.
Scab, scab, scab, hate, hate, hate,
mouths to feed, no food on plate.

Wiper blades, smearing eggs,
police hats, Yorkshire men’s heads
Terrified faces turn in shame,
dark dust eyes cry the same. I thought this stanza was very evocative

Industry giants now fast asleep, "industry giants" sounds like an awfully official term (not to mention highly subjective, based on the circumstance). I'd personally choose another turn of phrase, but that's just me
veins are rich but coal is cheap. I really like this line
Banners and Placards, meanings lost.
A warehouse for Europe, fuck the cost.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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Messages In This Thread
Bath by candle light - by Keith - 11-27-2012, 09:23 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by billy - 11-27-2012, 10:36 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by addy - 11-27-2012, 02:28 PM
RE: Bath by candle light - by Keith - 11-28-2012, 08:08 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by billy - 11-28-2012, 10:04 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by penguin - 11-30-2012, 03:29 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by Keith - 12-09-2012, 09:32 AM
RE: Bath by candle light - by billy - 12-09-2012, 05:36 PM



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